Goodness me, that's harsh. I don't see the fruits of the spirit being displayed in that letter.
He appears to think that you are having trouble from discerning the will of God from your own will. But what he doesn't realise is that your will and God's will can coincide! God always chooses the best action for us, not the action that is going to make us as miserable as possible.
On the social side- supposing things were the opposite way around. Most people would not have a problem with a 24 year old man pursuing a 19 year old woman, so why is it such a big deal if a 24 year old woman is attracted to a 19 year old man? When my sister was 19, she was dating a 24 year old and nobody thought anything of it!
I understand that Roger loves you really, but only God can tell you what to do here.