Homosexual Discussion ForumHomosexuality - My Storyright now i am living what you would call a "straight" life. 6 years back i was living what you would call a "queer" life. 9 years back i was living what you would call a "straight" life. i have loved deeply people of both sexes. the bottom line is, i have love for a lot of people, i love who i am, i am lucky enough to have fulfilling employment, i serve a vibrant and positive community and, despite my adolescent experiences, i have grown up to be a responsible, productive, well adjusted adult. if i loved women in the past and will probably do so again, so what? how does that hurt you? how does it hurt me? how does that hurt society? the simple fact is, it does not. it is not a sickness, it is a mode of being. it is an expression of love and life as natural as the changing of the seasons. why do you fight so hard against that being the case? why are you unable to accept that it *is* the case? what are you so afraid of that you have to learn all these statistics and all this psychology and psychobabble in order to justify your stance? why are you unable to simply let people live their lives according to their own lights? what is wrong with you that you are so unable to live and let live? as for my gay friends. none of them were sexually molested or abandoned by their families. a couple had issues with their fathers but nothing that has not been resolved, barr one. so try again, dr freud. you know what they say, if it ain't broke, why fix it? after my father died i received a lot of counselling from a psychologist. together we explored my issues from every which way - abandonment, sexual molestation, fear, self-loathing, anger, you name it. funnily enough, sexual orientation or lust for somebody of the same sex was not considered a problem by either of us as it was not considered a destructive impulse, or something that was "unnatural". it was completely understandable to both of us that i would want to be with another woman after what my father did to me. it was, initially, an issue of trust rather than sexuality. my gay friends understood this and encouraged me to get back on the horse with men, so to speak, because predominantly i am straight. i really doubt that the damage of the kind i suffered is sufficient for a person to make sexual choices that will govern the rest of their lives. it didn't determine mine and i really doubt it is the reason i enjoy sleeping with women either. of my gay friends, none of them were molested by their parents or suffered any kind of trauma that might have "turned them" gay. they were simply born that way and many can remember having feelings for other boys or girls when they were in early, early puberty, if not before. if, as you seem to be suggesting, childhood trauma can determine a persons sexual choices for life, it would most definitely be the exception rather than the rule. i know too many well adjusted gays from well adjusted homes for it to be scientific fact.
come to darlinghust, sydney, australia, where i live and have lived for the last 20 years. you will see a thriving, vibrant and very close knit gay community. this community was decimated by AIDS in the 80s and early 90s. i went to more funerals than i can count on both hands (and on thursday we will gather to remember all those we lost as it is World AIDS Day). not two weeks go by without somebody being bashed or attacked either in the neighbourhood or further afield by straight white males who hunt in packs and are fuelled by alcohol or drugs. there is a kind of politically correct acceptance happening here, that's true, but scratch the surface and you'll find in most cases the old fear and prejudices alive and well. discrimination happens subtly, in workplaces, on the street, at restaurants daily and no so subtly as evidenced by the number of queers that are still winding up in hospital after having their heads bashed in with bricks. don't kid yourself that it doesn't still happen on an alarmingly frequent basis. maybe you are just out of touch now, eh? lately, due to the rise of the new Right and the increasing brainwashing of fundamentalist churches who offer a community to those who feel cut off from a world moving too fast for them, a world they fear because they no longer understand it, we are seeing an increase in the number of assaults on gay people. there has been a backlash against the gay community as politicians are once again holding the lifestyle up for examination and criticism. Family First a fundamentalist Christian party has been elected to the Senate, decimating the separation of church and state, pushing for their morals to be imposed by law on all. how sick, how wrong and how intolerant. scratch the surface and you will find that very little has changed in terms of genuine tolerance. there are many hypocrites out there who like to talk in lofty terms about how "egalitarian" they are when it comes to queers but when you get down to tin tacks with them, they are as hypocritical and prejudice and fearful as they ever were except they hide their prejudice behind a wall of "well meaning intentions" and "compassion". here's news: the queer world doesn't need your so-called "compassion" because its nothing but pity in disguise and pity is negative, patronising and helps no one besides being downright insulting. all pity does is salve the consciences of the guilty party offering it. that's right. if you offer pity, you are guilty. if my friends had pitied me when i was trying to get back on my feet i would never have got back on my feet. so i question these so-called advances in acceptance by the straight world. so do not tell people who are struggling with their sexuality that they are "sick", do not tell them they are "going against God", do not tell them they need "help" because the simple fact is none of this is true. it serves no purpose for good. after all, your stance is comprised entirely of YOUR view and you will assemble various data to apparently justify your view. all you are doing is imbuing people with guilt, fear and shame and making them lesser than what they truly are. you are turning people away from themselves and that, to me, is abhorrent. if i wanted to i could so easily turn the tables and gather data that supported the view that heterosexuality an outmoded biological response that no longer serves a purpose in the world. i could oh so easily gather together data that says God Does Not Exist but what purpose does it serve? none in the long run. i would just be robbing people of something they believe in with their whole hearts and treasure. i don't want to do that to people regardless of my views on their beliefs. Christians in the majority do not hurt others, they are positive members of society. its the Christians that try to force their views down the thoat of others and attempt to manipulate another person through guilt or fear to turn away from their true natures are the ones i have problems with. you don't seem to understand that you have to just let people be people and if you don't like the way they live their lives, then just shut up and leave them to it and get on with living your own. its very simple. i'm not overlooking anything. the fight continues, whether you want to acknowledge that or not, whether you choose to be a part of that or not. yes, huge advances have been made in the past, but the fight for equality still continues and right now it is time to once again put the shoulder to the wheel for the reasons i stated above and you have made yourself part of what we are fighting against. you've turned your back on the community you fought for for 20 years and are now telling people to turn away from a vital part of who they are and to get back in the closet, to understand that they're sick or damaged or "not quite right". how sad and fucked up you must be. you should be reassuring them and encouraging them to explore their options and make up their own mind. instead you deny them that freedom and feed their fear and self-loathing and doubt. what happened to you? why did you lose your balls? |
🌈Pride🌈 goeth before Destruction
When 🌈Pride🌈 cometh, then cometh Shame