Is Masturbating a sin?
While it is important for Christians not to sin so that Grace may abound, we need to make sure we are fully accepting of God’s Grace. In this I believe that legalism, even when I based it on the truth as it relates to a particular act or belief, produces within me the works of the flesh. Yet even then I have found that it is rare that the truth on which I am basing a legalist belief is entirely true. That produces even more works of the flesh because then I am fighting against God. (adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like.)
To make matter worse I usually try to convince others to believe the same way. In doing so I set them up to stumble. Believing myself to be a crusader for good I actually help the works of the flesh to be manifested in the lives of others. Perhaps they will abandon their faith, perhaps they will fall into the hands of those whom will take advantage of their inability to live up to their own legalistic standards, perhaps I will help them live double lives.
So how can I tell if I am living in God’s Grace, if I am using the discernment of Holy Spirit, or if I am living my live according to legalistic beliefs? Well in addition to digging into the Bible with an openness to the Spirit, I find that I need to honestly look at my life and my beliefs and ask the Holy Spirit, “In my dealings with God, myself, and others, do I have Fruit of the Spirit growing in my life, or is the result of my dealings with God, myself, and others in this matter the works of the flesh?”
Within the belief that one should only experience physical sexual release within a marital relationship, and that the relieving of oneself, on one’s own, is wrong. I spent 20 years claiming to have, but more times than not lacking the Fruit of the Spirit in dealing with God, myself, and others, including some very bad behavior within my marriages. Yes I said marriages. Therein my focus in my first and much of my second marriage was on the wicked behavior of my wife, for not meeting my physical needs, causing me to lust. Yet now I know that regardless of their being right or wrong, the real question I should have been concerned about was my Spiritual condition.
During this time I worried about what my lust said about me as a Christian? What would its discovery do to the image people had of me? And why hadn’t God delivered me? At times my shame was so great I wanted to die or mutilate myself. I thank God I did not act upon those feelings. I now realize that part of the problem was that I did not understand the difference between God given desires and lustful ones.
As one who once was addicted to Pornography secret lusts, I have now been free from those things for seven years. Praise God. I have seen the fruit of the Spirit Grow in my life, in relationship to my relationship with God, myself, and others, especially my wife. In this I believe it is wrong if, in the relieving of oneself, one denies using their sexual energy in the pleasing of their spouse, however I have come to believe that it is not wrong to relieve oneself thinking about a hoped for intimate relationship. Therein I do not think it is lust for those whom are not married to relieve themselves thinking about a hoped for intimate relationship, provided they are not lusting after a particular individual. After all besides procreation I believe bonding is the reason men have such strong sexual drives, therefore hoping and thinking about the pleasures of being intimate with a woman would be godly.
I shouldn’t steal a food, I shouldn’t stuff my body with food, I shouldn’t live for food, I shouldn’t lust after my neighbors food. But am I sinning because I think about how good it is to eat? Am I lusting because I am thinking about a hoped for sexual relationship. Telling a person they can’t eat puts them in a fight against the way God made them, and it opens them up to all shorts of temptations, whereby foods that would otherwise not be so appealing become appealing. Why are so many pastors addicted to pornography? Why are so many young Christian boys sexually abused by apparently godly individual who talk good theology? Why are Christians boys and girls, men and women having sex outside of marriage? Sin, yes, but could it be that it is because we have accepted and propagated a legalistic lie, a stumbling block?
Could I be wrong? Yes. Yet as one who was addicted to lusting and pornography, and who while having been married for some 20 years now and is NOT experiencing an ongoing fulfilling sexual relationship with his wife, do to issue I want to help my wife overcome because I love her and treasure her as a blessing, the peace and joy I have experienced over the past seven years of my being free from those lusts have been wonderful. While hoping for a more intimate sexual relationship with my wide I have learned to be content in having to relieve myself sexually.
For those men addicted to pornography please fight the lust, not the need for release. Just remember that one of the reasons God gave you your sexual need is that of your bonding with your wife, even if you are not yet married keep that your desire. True sexual satisfaction will not be found in pornography, you can imagine that they want you but they don’t, nor will it my found in your desiring of any other kind of sexual relationship.
Please forgive any misspelling and poor wording,
In His Grace,
Curtis
As I mentioned before, I could be wrong, therefore if you are a fairly young man, who is not in a satisfying sexual relationship, and who had an addiction problem with sexual lust, yet has not habitually lusted over the last seven years, and who therefore hasn’t had to relieve yourself at all sexually over the past 7 years, please let me know how you did it. Ok lets’ make it 6 years, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, do I hear 6 months? Otherwise please consider my words.