Naruto,
You have just confirmed what I said in the psionics forum as to why things sudenly started going well for you when you got into psionics. Please read it and remember.. you and all you do is under the power of the Satan, whose sole desire is to keep you thinking that psionics is something that can give you power and significance and improve your self esteem.. yet again I say to you.. go read what all your friends are saying with a critical eye.. they know it's not giving them what they desire most in the world.
All that you are desiring, all that your heart is crying out for will only find it's total fulfilment in your Creator. You were designed with the desire to know God and it is what you are hungering for. Satan will do anything, everything to make you think that fulfilment is within yourself, or from what you are doing.. But.. "Taste and see that the Lord is good."
If you truly believe in what you say you believe in, knowing God in your life is not something you should be running from.. it should draw you to Him. It's doing the exact opposite and causing you to run from Him. Doesn't that make you wonder?
I asked you once before in these forums, why are you so hostile towards having God in your life. I think now you can see why. That hostility comes from influences that you have placed yourself under.. please do as Mike suggested.. and go and truly search your own heart and your inner self and see it is still craving for much much more than the psionic experience will ever give you.. go ask God to reveal Himself to you. He will, maybe not in the same way He did it for Michael, but the principal is the same.
If you truly want to know the truth about God.. ask Him. He said "Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will open." There is no compulsion to follow Him here.. just to ask Him to show you the things that you of all people should be open to see and hear.. God Himself.. The one who created everything and everyone. Is seeking Truth such a scary thing to do?