I do feel bad for the people who have lived through all these horrendous family situations. I can't imagine what that's like. But the point of my post, the one Aineo used to start this thread, is that the sorts of problems that people point to as the "cause" of a given individual's homosexuality <I>haven't</I> been shown to be <I>more prevalent</I> among homosexuals. Maybe it isn't "how you cope." Maybe there isn't a correlation at <I>all</I>. Take Tiffany's four points, for example:
1.) bad relationship with father
2.) sexual molestation
3.) peer rejection
4.) adultery within the family
Add these all up, and I bet you've got a lot more than 50% of the population covered. Which sucks, but I think it's probably true. Divorce is common. Authoritarian, emotionally distant fathers are common. Peer rejection is common... maybe even the norm, because the kids who are rejected by one group can still turn around and reject others.
Meanwhile, gay people are at least 3% and probably no more than 10% of the population. Does a cause-and-effect interpretation really make sense here? And if it does... why hasn't anyone done the sort of study I suggested? If someone could prove something like that, it would be huge. Has anyone even tried?
Since people may think it's relevant, here's my experience: My parents are married. Both work from home, but my mom earns more money and my dad does more housework. Other than that, they don't break any gender roles. I have a decent relationship with my father. He's got a lot of the typical doesn't-express-his-feelings stereotypical male issues... which I've somewhat inherited, so I can't really blame him. For a while, when I was younger, I felt a strong emotional pull towards people I saw as "father figure" types. I imagine that if I'd been straight, that might have been more of a problem.
I was never abused, molested, or raped. I wasn't rejected by my peers... mostly by virtue of never attending public school, I'm sure. All my close friends were girls until I after I realized I was gay -- and I still live with my best friend from high school, a straight woman. That said, I'm a geek, and relate best to fellow geeks... who tend to be guys.
My sister, six years younger than me, is straight. She's also much more of a typical "girl" than I ever was, having minimal interest in computers, a great love of horses, and a style of dress that doesn't necessitate shopping in the men's department.