Well, I have a brief (or hopefully brief) update on my situation with Richard. As you all know, I've fallen in love with a member of the non-denominational church that I attend, and his name is Richard. Unfortunately, he is not looking for a relationship at this time. :roll:
Fast-forward to April/May, 2005, when I was in Mexico. I met someone who caught my eye (Adrian), only to discover that the reason why he caught my eye was because he reminded me of Richard. (If you knew both men, you'd know that they're both alike.) I'm over Adrian, but I'm still annoyed that I had a crush on him when I have deep feelings of love for Richard.
But that's not the problem. Adrian's a great guy and all. But my feelings for him were brief. They were a fluke, brought on by loneliness. Nothing more. I prayed that if God wanted me and Adrian to be together, then He would bring us together. So far, nothing's happened. Adriain's in Mexico. I'm in the U.S. I don't even know if I'll see him again. But there's still a small chance that God, if He wants something to happen between me and Adrian, will bring us together.
Also, at the end of my prayers, I heard a voice tell me that I was being tested. Now, I don't know if that was God's voice or just my thoughts. I'm confused, because I had suspected that I was being tested. So I don't know whose voice was in my head at that time. Could've been God's. Could've been mine.
Now my problem: While the missionaries were on the stage, sharing our experiences at church, I had a distinct feeling that Richard was looking directly at me during a majority of the discussion. (Now, it could've been becuase of my skirt. But if there was a problem with my skirt, I'm sure Pastor Travis would've indicated that there was a problem. The skirt was long and my legs were crossed. The worst thing that could've happened was that everyone would know just how white my legs really are. As far as I know, my "unmentionables" were not on display for the whole congregation to see.)
Anyway, I've had a suspicion that he might be interested in me before. There've been severeal instances, when he's looked directly at me, for no apparent reason. I just feel like he's doing the same thing I do when I look at him: sending the, "I'm interested. You could be interested. Wanna date?" vibe. But this is the same guy who, months ago, said he's not looking for a relationship. And I'm frustrated. I feel like he's sending me mixed signals. My friend has noticed the same thing, too. In fact, she was the one to point out a similar incident that took place during a choir performance, where Richard and I just happened to look at each other at the same time and turn away in embarrassment.
But the guy has not said one word that indicates that he's interested in me!!! Not only that, but my patience is waning. I mean, I know he's worth waiting for. But it's hard, because we humans -- by nature -- want everything right here, right now. That's just how we are. And I want to know right here, right now if Richard and I have a romantic future together.
Anyway, enough ranting. Please pray that if Richard is interested in me like I'm interested in him, that he will get off of his butt and do something about it. Because I hate to say it, but there may come a day when another Adrian will make an appearance and I won't be willing to sit back and do nothing. Also, any advice that you have would be welcome.
As they say: "Love is crazy, and it only makes us crazier."
Or I could've made that one up.