ArchivedDutch study shows gay relationships are transitory :: Re: Regarding the dutch studyRe: Regarding the dutch study Yes, I am ex-gay. As to the ex-gay movement, this is a term I picked up from the press and gay sites. With few exceptions you don't see ex-gays in the media making a lot of noise about the sinfulness of the lifestyle. Most, it not all, ex-gay ministries make their services available to those seeking help in overcoming an orientation they don't want. If you live in a major city this book is probably on the shelves of your public library- "Desires In Conflict" by Joe Dallas. Joe is an ex-gay family counselor and has written a couple of books. I recommend this one first because Joe lays out your options in the opening chapters of his book. He advises those seeking information to identify their reasons for seeking change and then advises those seeking family, societal, or religious acceptance as their only reason to forget it since they will probably fail. Unmarried heterosexual relationships have been extensively studied since the 60's. These relationships last as long as those involved in the relationship are willing to committ themselves to the relationship and societal prejudice has been ignored. Why do you think such relationships are so common today? The reason gay relationships are less permanant is there is always a younger, richer, better looking, or more gregarious man just around the corner. 30 years ago I knew gay couples in Omaha who were openly gay, proud, could care less what society thought. The partners in the relationships lived together, but they were "open". In other words not monogamous. I also know many gay men and lesbian women who live in major cities like San Francisco where sexuality has been ignored for decades and most "lover" relationships were still short lived or like the Dutch study reports monogamous only for a short time and then became open. The main reason they stayed in the relationships were financial. Their finances and property were so entwined it would be a major job to "divorce". The Dutch study has not shared anything new. Your analogy just does not hold up, at least from my experience. My family, friends, and employers all knew I was gay and their reaction to my lifestyle was cool but not rejecting. So lack of societal acceptance was not the issue. The religious right pretty much ignored the gay community until 1993 when President Clinton made homosexuality a national issue by attempting to keep campaign promises he made and the gay community realized they had some political power. |
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